you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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