very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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