At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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