I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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