Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
