you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize