oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
