I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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