Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Even my vagina gasped.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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