I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
