I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
