Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
