Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
