go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
