so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Enjoy the penises
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
