I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
