woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
