Will you blow on my dice?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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