we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize