Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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