i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
