hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
