I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
