Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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