Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
