I'm going to jail i love you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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