dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
