shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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