Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
