After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
