508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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