I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
