STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
