Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
