I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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