I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm passing your future prison.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
