Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
