I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
