I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
