You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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