i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
