i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
