i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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