This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
