I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
