WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
