Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize