Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
