So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
