they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
