I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
