The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
