ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
