can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
