Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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