Four minutes until I can fart!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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