check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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