in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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