My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
