Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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