turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
