two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
