Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
no. you can't hotbox the world.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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