you would pick up someone in the library
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
