I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
