Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
