You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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