Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
