Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
